Come Along for the Journey

Last year, I turned 50. It was rather uneventful, except for the fabulous 70s party that celebrated the occasion. I didn't notice any dread at hitting the half-century mark; in fact, I was quite excited. Admittedly, that was largely due to the fact that no one thought I looked the milestone age I was reaching. But after the disco lights dimmed, I noticed that I became fixated on my own mortality.

I can't say for certain when it started, but I know that by the time the holidays passed and we launched into the new year, I was noticing it. Then, after a single week where someone who had been a big part of my life many years ago died unexpectedly, a work colleague passed away, and a family friend landed in the intensive care unit of the hospital, it escalated to an unstoppable math game played in my head. Whenever I heard the age of someone who had died, I did the number crunching in my head.

"He was 60. I only have 10 more years."  
"She lived until the ripe old age of 94. I have plenty of time."  

"She was 45. I could die any moment." 

It dominated my thoughts for weeks.

Sharing with my therapist and dear friends about how my brain seemed stuck in a loop of calculating the impossible, when I would die, made me feel better, not alone, and in time, it settled down. But it also made me realize I needed to shift and transform. I was struck with a desire to find a way, or ways, to feel like I was truly and vibrantly living the remainder of however much time remains.  

All of this coincided with the completion of my participation in a class called Soul Care led by Deb Beroset from Moxie, where I had envisioned all the juicy details of the life my soul, my inner muse, desired, which was:

Living an inspired life full of passion where love, authenticity, abundance, creativity, gratitude, and confidence show up to create an amazing love affair with my husband; a healthy body, mind, and soul; traveling; a vibrant social life; having my shit together; being grounded in my truth; creatively expressing myself; following my soul's yearnings; and being sassy, sexy, and playful.

Shortly after completing that course, I set sail on a new course, also led by Deb call The Flight Project, a 6 month journey "committed to loving our unique and evolving expressions of womanhood."  The course is split into three phases: "Unapologetic" "Unabashed" and "Unleashed."  

During "Unleashed," the final phase, we take on an 8-week personal project with sights set to get "your true essence expressed in some way that inspires you and makes you come alive." And that, my friends, is what brings us here together and connected through this blog.

My project, "Taking on discomfort as a habit - doing at least 20 things out of my comfort zone," starts today, with the destination to create "an unrecognizable version of me that I'm not present to right now - Bold, Adventurous, and Sassy."

Will my journey end with The Flight Project? Not a chance. The vision of my life, and discovering, or maybe rediscovering, what lights me up and brings joy and meaning to my life, will never be truly completed. There is always room to grow and expand, learn more and spread my wings.

Come along to witness and contribute to my journey, and perhaps find a little motivation to start your own or inspiration to continue on the one you've already started!